The Nervous Suitor

Elf- The Nervous Suiter
“The Nervous Suitor” Graphite 8″ x 12″

Termonius L. Woodburrow is an elf that had lived with his mother his whole life.  There’s nothing extraordinary about that except for the fact that he was 795 years old.  Elves live a long time by human standards, and stay with their parents longer than humans, but even for elves this was quite a bit over the usual time.  To use a human coined phrase, there was definitely “a failure to launch”.

Every time Termonius would even think about or hint to his mom that it might be time for him to move out, she would bake his favorite pie, fairy berry,  bring him his slippers, fluff his pillows and just generally spoil him rotten.  Even if he had gotten the gumption to leave his cozy home and find a wife there were not many elf maidens who could meet the standards that his mother so capably set.  So Termonius stayed put year after year.  And it would perhaps have gone on that way for perhaps another 500 years or so,  except that mom met her untimely end at the hand of a very angry dragonfly who burned her to a crisp with it fiery breath and a haughty twitch of its tale.

Termonius had no idea how to take care of himself.  So he realized rather quickly that he needed a mo… no make that a wife to replace his mom.

Though he didn’t expect that anyone could live up to his mom,  he still held great expectations and standards in his mind for his future bride. When he courteously explained these standards to the maidens he was very quickly and unceremoniously shown the door.  After this had happened with the first fifty or so maidens, Termonius began to assess and understand the situation he was really in.  Not only would he not find someone like mom, but he would be lucky to find anyone at all. What had once been an arrogant judgmental smirk on his face when courting now turned to the “snail caught in the headlights”.  He was extremely nervous now when coming to call. It did not help his prospects to have sweat rolling down his face.  He made no further demands and was practically begging someone to please marry him

It is quite possible that what Termonius should be doing with his time is enrolling in classes on how to take care of one’s self.

© 2014 Ann Gates Fiser All rights reserved

 

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