Fird the Turd Bird

Fird the Turd Bird
Fird the Turd Bird

“Who is that?”,  you might be asking. Allow me to introduce you to Fird the Turd Bird, a portrait of the personification of my inner critic, the nemesis  and arch enemy of my muse,  Musetta.   Through the ruse of expectation (of how my painting should look) and comparison (how it actually turned out)  Fird got loose last evening and ran amok, so that when it finally came time for me to do my end of the day sketching he was in full on attack mode, pecking,  biting and scratching at me.   “You’re lousy at painting!  You’ll never be really good at it! Blahwdy blah blah and on and on it went.   Musetta was in full retreat, weeping and hiding in the deep dark  sad shadows of my psyche.

So I did the only thing I could do in order to keep the discipline of drawing every night.  I started sketching Fird (although I didn’t know that was his name at the time).  As I drew he became quieter and then finally completely silent, because being the stupid vain creature he is, he couldn’t, wouldn’t, and didn’t criticize his own portrait.  And that’s when I knew had him!  At last I drew a spiked dog collar around his scrawny neck, attached a heavy chain,  which in turn was added to a spike in the cold hard ground. He was my bitch now.

But knowing him to be the sneaky elusive creature that he is, I knew that I needed to take further precautions, so I have given his likeness to the CPI (That’s  Bureau of Creativity Investigation)  and they have issued a wanted dead or alive poster which now hangs on the cork board in my studio, to remind me to be on the lookout and at the first vague hint of the stench of him that tells me he is once again on the loose and lurking about, I can take the proper steps to catch and put him back in his place, chained up and and powerless to wreak misery on me and Musetta.

I sincerely invite you to name and describe your inner critic and share it in my comment section.  And if you draw it put a link to it.   That way I and others can spot your inner critic  and report it before it has a chance to work it’s nastiness on you and anyone else who happens to get in the way.  Thank you.

Copyright 2013 Ann Gates Fiser All rights reserved

My friend Erin Hogan responded by drawing this guy

13 thoughts on “Fird the Turd Bird

    1. Bathing him would be just like bathing a dog. He’ll go roll in something nasty the minute your back is turned…LOL And attitude~ don’t get me started 😉

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